I was nine that time when I believed that life is wonderful that it is full of fun and enjoyment. I just believed that life is as perfect shape as the marble I held at hand. Likewise, I believed that life would remain the same as if all things around me would exactly be the same through the passing of time. But, I was perfectly wrong because what I only believed was precisely the opposite of what I thought when I was nine. Indeed, I realized that I was absolutely wrong.
Back to the days when I was nine, I felt that life is fun as I had experienced and as I had been into. I had a complete family. I meant that all members of my family were alive. Aside from that, I had gotten things if I needed them. My parents, my brothers, and sisters were very supportive as they would always be. they could really give what I wanted because we had money, nice house, delicious and nutritious food, car, and smooth-running business. That time I believed life was perfect and I enjoyed a lot. As young as I was, I understood the very simple and fantastic life that I had.
But one incident had turned my world upside down; my whole family had gone. I just woke up one bloody morning when all of them were lying dead. I cried over the death of my family and rested there all alone. I did not have any idea who did such brutality. Two months later, the police officers had the result of their investigation, and they said it was a massacre with stealing some expensive appliances and other important equipment in the house. They said that the responsible people were already put in jail and were facing their life sentences.
I did not know if I would be happy for what happened to the murderers. Others said that I must be happy now for I obtained justice. Is justice really mine? Did I have that? I asked myself in silence while the deepest me shivered with anger and anxiety. For what is the justice now? My family was already gone, and I could not get them back to life. I could not live without them, and every night as I walked into my room and into the corridor I could feel the cold winter wind that flashed back into my memories. As I remember them, my eyes would shed tears. The reason is that I do not know. It was that I remember of my younger days. My idea of perfect life was changed, and it is now unfair for why other people killed my family. That was really unfair. We did not hurt or even kill anyone. Why then? It is unfair or maybe that I only borrowed those enjoyments including my family. I thought that they were not real; they were just fictitious and imaginary. But, they are real. I could feel them when they were alive.
Now, I started to get over. I began to live a normal life trying to be the same as it was before. I did not mind the imperfection now for life is like that. Time has changed, and it keeps on changing. Yet, there were significant memories that could only dwell on the past, and that they were only better off to remember. But sometimes, not all memories should be remembered because they were painful and repulsive and part of it was my family. Though I cried so hard, I said to myself that I am fine now--that I escaped from the nightmarish past. Even though, deep inside me it is wrong. Truly, the past has kept haunting me in which it made weak and a little-headed. because every time I see families, playing and enjoying themselves, I get back to the moment when I was nine.
I am twenty-three this time, and many years have gone by. It is the time that moves us all, and maybe yes. It is queer, isn't it? Time has brought us to the wind of change, and it simply keeps moving through times including the individual life. It is simply that. In life, whatever one thinks is enough is not really enough. And for all the pains one has been into, he or she keeps on blaming someone--that this painful life would never exist if one never allows it. But, before one will think that way, he or she has to realize that he or she contributes to the quota of impatience, and merely, he or she is in to it. Finally, all have been subject to the dominating spirit of the present time, and everything is bound to happen both by chance and by choice.
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